tagged..again.

so, the beautiful and talented katie tagged me to write 10 random things about myself. hmmm...i've already done this so now i have to come up with 10 more. i'm not quite sure i can be creative in my answers this late at night..but i know if i don't do it now, i'll forgot.

1) i went to the braves game tonight and they have a huge fireworks show for every friday home game...i had forgotten how much i LOVE fireworks! they make me so very happy! (ok, lame i know..i promise this gets better)

2) this one is inspired by my move to alpharetta..aka the suburbs. i'm not a fan of the suburbs. i love the city and i love the country...but am not loving the burbs. but, God has a funny sense of humor and there i will find myself starting this weekend for at least a year.

3) i love being with people (maybe this has to do with my love language being quality time)...i'm not a fan at all of having large amounts of time to myself. of course, we all need some time alone. but give me 30 minutes and my batteries are recharged and i'm good for a while. i just love to get to know people. i love hearing stories...hear what they love..what they are passionate about..i could go on...

4) I grew up thinking my dad could do no wrong. then, when i was about 14 i stopped talking to him (i can't remember why now..that's how insignificant and petty it was). i didn't see or talk to him again until i graduated from college. four days after graduation, i flew out to Minnesota and stayed with him, my step-mom and brother for 10 days. that was tough. things are much better now. sometimes i cannot believe i allowed that much time to pass us by. but, i treasure all the moments i have with him now. God is the God of restoration!

5) my older sister lives in las vegas. we grew up thinking we'd live next to each other. she'd marry tom cruise (boy did she dodge a bullet) and i'd marry patrick swayze or michael jackson (i'm the one who really dodged that bullet)!

5) most christians make me really mad.

6) i want to live outside of the US for at least a year sometime in my lifetime.

7) if God has me get married, i hope to adopt as many kids as my husband and i can handle! and i want to continue to adopt even as the others grow older...i'm sure that idea will change as i get older. there's only so much you can handle right?

8) i secretly wish i could travel around the world and take pictures for a living. i also secretly wish i could be a race car driver...hmmm...how do i go about both of those at the same time?

9) i used to be afraid of the dark. i'm not bad now, but sometimes i spook myself into thinking a burglar is in the house when it is pitch black.

10) i love nature! i love camping, hiking, exploring etc. Such worship takes place in admiring His work. HE is incredible!


So, I am supposed to tag a bunch of people...but how about this. If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged. ;)


currently listening to: Death Cab for Cutie

"take me to this Love"

can you imagine those words coming out of the mouth of an eight year old street child? an orphan. alone. sniffing glue.

he told her he had never been told about love or this Jesus she spoke of. how could He be Love? he said he wanted to know about this love so he told her, "take me to this Love."

my heart wanted to burst out of my chest. i sat there asking God how He could stand by and allow an eight year old never hear those words...allow him to go hungry and unprotected. And then i realized that it wasn't God who allowed him to go unloved and unprotected, but us. we are His hands and feet. we are His people. He has put us on this earth to be that love to the orphan...the widow...to the unlovable...to the forgotten...to the prisoners...to each other.

our ears have heard..we are responsible.

i've always dreamed big dreams. i used to think a part of my worth would be found in my ability to make those dreams come true. most of my dreams have been extremely selfish. most have involved me receiving glory. i remember standing on the dusty ground in kenya laughing and singing with five young boys. i remember looking into their eyes and feeling completely at home. i looked around at their humble surroundings...no electricity, no fast food around the corner, no wal-mart, no starbucks..and i imagined living there and being completely content...completely at home...living a life loving the orphan...the forgotten...the rejected...

but even though that vision might not have been for me to act on right away...i still see it as a reminder of our calling as a people...my calling as a woman of God. i am to love even when i'm not loved back....oh how hard that can be.

i am to never forget...i am to plead their case...

and i am to continue to love those God brings into my life as if my life depended on it.

Father, how in the world do i do that?

Currently listening to:: Brooke Fraser::Shadowfeet

wow.

my last post was kinda depressing. i promise i'm ok! :)


currently listening to: natasha bedingfied::wild horses (not the rolling stones "wild horses")

insecurities.

i have a lot of them.

they haunt me at times.

i find myself extremely aware of my imperfections and highly conscious of other's strengths that i do not possess.

i get really quiet.

i get nervous.

all i want to do is run. and i do.

i'm doing it right now.

sometimes when i allow God in, i don't run as far. i start to believe the words He speaks into my heart.

and i feel free. my heart feels light.

i look at everyone with a different set of eyes. they are all so beautiful...lovely.

i don't let their words sting as much, or their sideways glances make me question my intelligence. i don't let their rejection of my friendship make me question my worth. i don't let their perception of who i am actually define who i am.

if only i'd let Him in more often. if only i'd believe Him.

currently listening to: bethany dillon::imagination

home.

i get emotional going to my hometown sometimes.

it is really odd though because it really only happens when i go to see old friends..not when i go visit my mom.

as i was driving through the backroads, i passed by so many places that hold so many memories...

the rock quarry we'd sneak into late at night
my old best friend patrick's house
katie's grandparents house where we spent our summers because they'd let us do whatever we wanted
the football field
"his" house....

as i took the long way home tonight, i found myself sad....missing those days. i felt like i belonged somewhere...and i did. even though the whole time i couldn't wait to break free..to move to the city...to run away...now, i'm sad i didn't live in the moment more while i was there.

yet, who i was back then is NOT someone i want to be...and I had to leave...trust me, i wanted to.

so...tonight as i held katie's beautiful baby JuleeAnn in my arms..i looked around the table of a family i grew up with and adopted as my own...the friends from high school i thought i'd be best friends with forever...and laughed together as if i had never gone away...

i thanked God for roots....

for my past....

and for what He has given me now...


currently listening to: Breathe In Breathe Out::Mat Kearney

my second home

i love this lamp.



my "desk"


life is tough here...i feel so confined. my creativity is stifled.


think we love orange?



currently listening to: turn the page::metallica (i love their version)