Saturday, January 31, 2009

mercy

this might be a bit more information than many of you would like to hear...

maybe a little too transparent.
maybe not enough.

my heart was breaking the other night...i couldn't stop it. it was all my fault. it was all my doing. i chose to live that way...to wallow in it...to believe lies when i knew they were empty.

the next morning i got down on my knees and begged God to take it away....to have mercy.
you ask with a pure heart...and you'll receive, right?

so why was i so shocked when my heart didn't hurt at all the next day? i felt just fine. i felt free. maybe it was because the truth finally became clear to me...

maybe it was because i begged for His mercy.

maybe it was because i didn't deserve it but God is so madly in love with me that He granted my plea.

either way...

i'm fine.

i'm just fine...and it feels amazing.

:)


currently listening to::fiction family

Sunday, January 25, 2009

i need

i need to believe Jesus at His word

i need to leave this place

i need to live...love...cry...laugh

i really need to laugh

i need MORE of Him...so much more. so, so much more that me doesn't exist anymore. can that happen?

please?

sometimes, i just wish Jesus would come back..but then i get scared because i want to hear "well done..."

sometimes, i'm not quite sure i'll hear that.

i want to hear that more than anything in this world.

my actions communicate something different.

i've never been much of a believer of words. but actions...now actions say it all.


currently listening to :: kim walker | sing my love