worship.

someone brought it to my attention tonight that i've been rather quiet on here lately. i'll leave out his name to protect the innocent...haha

tonight..after a night of worship at church...i found myself praying for everyone leaving.

that we as a church would not be consumers of worship. that our hands wouldn't raise and our hearts swell with emotion in vain.

that the emotions God stirs in our bodies would resound out there...

on the streets...

in our families...

in our work...

as that steve fee song says, "that what we do in here, fills the streets out there..."

i love that line. i feel this is one of the biggest diseases facing The Church today.

we have a whole lot of words...and very few actions.

i pray your life is filled with worship.

that your words are worship...your bodies are worship...your hearts are worship.

i pray The Church learns to worship again.

i haven't really been showing my blog some love lately. not quite sure why. maybe because i feel like i have to be honest here and lately i haven't really been in the mood for sharing to everyone and their grandmother. or maybe it is because some things lose their "newness" and then we are no longer attracted to them. i think that might be it. that's the american way isn't it?

i thought i'd post a few pictures of what i've been up to lately.

i got a hair cut last saturday...she made it pretty. i can't quite get it to look like this. i guess that's why she's the professional. either way, my hair has pretty much been in a pony tail since monday because of this very reason.




i've mainly just been doing a little bit of this:



erica caught me trying to play my guitar left-handed. you'd think playing it this way would feel more comfortable since i'm left-handed but this was not working out so well.



anyway...so as you can tell, life is interesting (insert sarcasm).

save me from myself.

my hope lies in you, God. and You alone.

my future is held firmly..
my breath given to me by the very lips of the One who created the universe.

i have made plenty of plans.

i have made numerous assumptions.

each time...i was wrong. You God, and You alone know what's best for me.

You save me from my self...from those plans...from those assumptions...from me.

Father, give me courage to lose those plans...to rid my heart of assumptions..ideals..and norms.

let my life be a mighty wind of worship for Your Glory and not my own...

let my life speak volumes to Your greatness...and nothing of my own...

let where my hope lies bring you glory...

as my plans leave my heart, fill me with You...

nothing is better than you.

nothing.

Father, save me from myself.


Currently listening to:: Live It Out

heavy.

My heart was so heavy that I couldn’t lift my hands in worship. Some of the words on the screen weren’t true of my heart. I stood there paralyzed. Ashamed.

With watery eyes I knew He knew my heart wasn’t completely His. I had been seeking validation from others…and I started to believe the lie that I was not worthy of His Love. His Blood.

But…

God restored my heart through His people. And the best part about it is they have no idea what they did for me today.

They have no idea how they showed me His face.

I love how He loves me.

My arms suddenly lost their heaviness. And I was able to worship His Faithfulness in my defeated heart.



currently listening to: a fine frenzy::you picked me.

texas troopers, janet jackson, a drunk kitty, and two crazy sisters.

those are just a few things that made the trip with my sister across the US one of the best trips ever.

i got a call (no, a text) from my sister saying she was leaving las vegas (chime in "Leaving Las Vegas" by Sheryl Crow) on friday of last week. by that afternoon, i had a one way flight booked for vegas leaving sunday night at 8pm. by the time all of the delays were done, i arrived in vegas around 3am my time...or 12am her time. of course in perfect kimmie fashion, she was not all packed and ready to go as planned. so her and her boyfriend picked me up at the airport and we arrived back at her place to finish packing...or should i say they finished packing. i was laying on the bed playing with dusty (kim's cat) when next thing i know kim wakes me up saying it was time to go.. i look at the clock...it was 4am her time. oops.

off we go. route 66!

honestly, there's just way too much to write about. we got to see the hoover dam when it was still dark at night. it was quite a sight even in the dark. peaceful.

i fell in love with arizona's hills/mountains and sights. new mexico is a close second. i really wanted to detour up to the grand canyon but kimmie just wanted to get back home. long story..but i completely understood. that will be for another trip another time.


the first day, we pushed through into oklahoma city. i love me some oklahoma! i wasn't expecting that.

on our way to OK, i got pulled over by a texas state trooper. kimmie and i could not stop laughing! i haven't been pulled over since i was 17 on my way to work one day. he was actually really funny. he asked if i had stolen the car (since my license is GA and her tags are NV). he then asked us if we hadn't heard not to mess with texas (i wonder how often he's told that line...). either way, he let me off! he said i was speeding (come on dude, i was going 6 miles over the speed limit!) and i was in the left hand lane. who knew you can only pass in the left hand lane. crazy texas!

it might have been one of those "you'd have to be there" type of moments, but man did we have fun with trooper trevor! i guess it helped that he was kinda cute too. i'm just glad i didn't get a ticket. i'll never talk bad about texas troopers again playing hard ball.

now, kim gave dusty half of some kind of pill to calm her down. mistakenly (long story) we gave her more than we were supposed to. so, let's just say that drunk kitty kept us laughing the entire ride! there was one point where dusty was lying belly up, meowing, stuck between boxes of dvds and books. she couldn't move...and of course we offered no help at all...we were too busy rolling on the floor laughing. oh, the things that become funny when you're running on no sleep with hours of road ahead and behind you.

we made it to mom's house around 11pm eastern time on tuesday night. we made it in two days. i was very proud of us! even though we didn't stop often, i wouldn't trade it for any other sight. my kimmie and i had the time of our lives. i'll never forget it!


our soundtrack included: janet jackson (rhythm nation! come on..black cat rocks my world), wilson phillips, social d, nirvana, foo fighters, the cranberries, tool, kid rock (don't ask), limp biscuit (again, don't ask), a fine frenzy, flyleaf, some more janet jackson, paula abdul, vanilla ice, nkotb, kelly clarkson, nine inch nails, various random radio stations...oh it goes on and on...


currently listening to: whatever in the world this is at starbucks...sounds like someone trying to be like bob dylan. sorry to break it to ya buddy...there's only one bob.

tagged..again.

so, the beautiful and talented katie tagged me to write 10 random things about myself. hmmm...i've already done this so now i have to come up with 10 more. i'm not quite sure i can be creative in my answers this late at night..but i know if i don't do it now, i'll forgot.

1) i went to the braves game tonight and they have a huge fireworks show for every friday home game...i had forgotten how much i LOVE fireworks! they make me so very happy! (ok, lame i know..i promise this gets better)

2) this one is inspired by my move to alpharetta..aka the suburbs. i'm not a fan of the suburbs. i love the city and i love the country...but am not loving the burbs. but, God has a funny sense of humor and there i will find myself starting this weekend for at least a year.

3) i love being with people (maybe this has to do with my love language being quality time)...i'm not a fan at all of having large amounts of time to myself. of course, we all need some time alone. but give me 30 minutes and my batteries are recharged and i'm good for a while. i just love to get to know people. i love hearing stories...hear what they love..what they are passionate about..i could go on...

4) I grew up thinking my dad could do no wrong. then, when i was about 14 i stopped talking to him (i can't remember why now..that's how insignificant and petty it was). i didn't see or talk to him again until i graduated from college. four days after graduation, i flew out to Minnesota and stayed with him, my step-mom and brother for 10 days. that was tough. things are much better now. sometimes i cannot believe i allowed that much time to pass us by. but, i treasure all the moments i have with him now. God is the God of restoration!

5) my older sister lives in las vegas. we grew up thinking we'd live next to each other. she'd marry tom cruise (boy did she dodge a bullet) and i'd marry patrick swayze or michael jackson (i'm the one who really dodged that bullet)!

5) most christians make me really mad.

6) i want to live outside of the US for at least a year sometime in my lifetime.

7) if God has me get married, i hope to adopt as many kids as my husband and i can handle! and i want to continue to adopt even as the others grow older...i'm sure that idea will change as i get older. there's only so much you can handle right?

8) i secretly wish i could travel around the world and take pictures for a living. i also secretly wish i could be a race car driver...hmmm...how do i go about both of those at the same time?

9) i used to be afraid of the dark. i'm not bad now, but sometimes i spook myself into thinking a burglar is in the house when it is pitch black.

10) i love nature! i love camping, hiking, exploring etc. Such worship takes place in admiring His work. HE is incredible!


So, I am supposed to tag a bunch of people...but how about this. If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged. ;)


currently listening to: Death Cab for Cutie

"take me to this Love"

can you imagine those words coming out of the mouth of an eight year old street child? an orphan. alone. sniffing glue.

he told her he had never been told about love or this Jesus she spoke of. how could He be Love? he said he wanted to know about this love so he told her, "take me to this Love."

my heart wanted to burst out of my chest. i sat there asking God how He could stand by and allow an eight year old never hear those words...allow him to go hungry and unprotected. And then i realized that it wasn't God who allowed him to go unloved and unprotected, but us. we are His hands and feet. we are His people. He has put us on this earth to be that love to the orphan...the widow...to the unlovable...to the forgotten...to the prisoners...to each other.

our ears have heard..we are responsible.

i've always dreamed big dreams. i used to think a part of my worth would be found in my ability to make those dreams come true. most of my dreams have been extremely selfish. most have involved me receiving glory. i remember standing on the dusty ground in kenya laughing and singing with five young boys. i remember looking into their eyes and feeling completely at home. i looked around at their humble surroundings...no electricity, no fast food around the corner, no wal-mart, no starbucks..and i imagined living there and being completely content...completely at home...living a life loving the orphan...the forgotten...the rejected...

but even though that vision might not have been for me to act on right away...i still see it as a reminder of our calling as a people...my calling as a woman of God. i am to love even when i'm not loved back....oh how hard that can be.

i am to never forget...i am to plead their case...

and i am to continue to love those God brings into my life as if my life depended on it.

Father, how in the world do i do that?

Currently listening to:: Brooke Fraser::Shadowfeet