156 times

I was reading Blue Like Jazz for about the 156th time last night when I came across this particular passage:

“When I was young I thought I had forever to figure things out…but I didn’t. I didn’t have long to figure things out. I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time.”

Wow. I couldn’t shake those words. I kept reading on but I found that I wasn’t really understanding the words I passed through. “but rather have us wasting time” kept replaying over and over in my head.

God had something to say and He wouldn’t let me carry on without knowing that.

How many times have I read this book and how many times have I read that passage…but never have they hit me the way they hit me last night.

I started asking myself...God, are you saying I’ve been wasting time? Honestly, in some areas I think the answer is yes. But I think God had more to say than that. Something much more…something below the surface of the obvious.

What if, I’ve been spending too much time focusing on my sin…focusing on my brokenness and my mistakes…that I’ve missed something He’s been wanting to do in me?

What if, I’ve been wasting my time on things already forgiven?

What if I’m not that same person anymore? Even that person I was just a few months ago? Is that even possible…even believable? Funny thing is, God can change anyone in an instant. I know this. I believe it. So how can I not believe it of myself?

I’ve been tricked. I’ve been fooled, and I’ve spent too much time believing lies.

My time is valuable…not because it is mine but because it is His.



Currently listening to: Bethany Dillon::My Love Hasn’t Grown Cold