Thursday, January 31, 2008

There's no way!

i missed LOST! WHAT?

Yes, you heard me correctly.

Somehow, I allowed the busyness of the real world...and responsibilities... take me away from the fantasy world of my favorite show.

Don't worry...it will not happen again.

Good news though. I know my mom has it recorded...so that gives me an excuse to go visit. (not like i need one).
We'll probably end up talking about Sawyer the whole time anyway... ;)

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

You make us brave.

i'm not very brave.
Well...sometimes i am.

This is a line in a Charlie Hall song that i love...

"You fight for us, You make us brave."

Erica and I were jamming in my car tonight after 7|22. We sometimes throw on a worship cd and just driving around...not going anywhere in particular....and worship God. It is one of my most favorite things to do. This song really hit me tonight. My prayer is to be braver...if you really think about it, we have nothing to lose.

"You’re closer than our troubles
More present than any danger

More grand than gold and silver
You are God, You are God"

--

On another note...i'm sitting here listening to the rain. it is coming down really hard.

it is beautiful.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

65

It is 65 degrees outside right now.

That makes me happy!

Monday, January 28, 2008

change

one of my dearest college friends is getting married in april. she's one of the most amazing woman of God that i've met. i've grown so much just from knowing her...her love for the Lord and life inspires me. God used her that freshman year in college to break down the dead bolted door to my heart. He used her to light my way right into His grace. for that we will forever be connected...no matter how far away from each other we are geographically.

we saw each other at our worst...through breakups...heartache...hardship..family craziness..life-altering decisions...God wrecking our lives...molding...more heartache...
she saw me through living a life completely dishonoring to God...and loved me anyway. she saw me living a double life...and loved me even more. that's when the love of Christ became real to me. that's when i finally got it.

i've been thinking a lot about how things will change once she gets married...especially since it is becoming more and more real with each passing day. when i come to visit, our time won't be our own...when she visits here during Christmas, he'll come with her. there will be some things lost...but please don't get me wrong. i wouldn't have it any other way. he is an amazing man of God. i am so excited about their marriage and cannot wait to have him in my family...even though not technically.

things will just be different.

but different is good. just like when she moved to LA. i thought our friendship would take a huge blow...but it didn't. it grew stronger. and now, God has honored me with being her maid of honor at her wedding. i've never been so honored.

i'll be there this weekend...helping with some wedding stuff. i cannot wait.

is it Saturday yet?

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Bad day turned around.

i took a nap today after church. i must have been really tired...i never take naps. my mom told me that when i was a kid, she'd never get me to bed. i was afraid of missing out on something. funny. i think i'm the same today.

but this now means that i'll be wide awake tonight until about three or four. i'm thinking more towards four. i hate when that happens.

but i had a really great night tonight. i met some really interesting people and made some new friends. i'm always up for that! But the few people that i got to really talk with tonight didn't make me feel like something was wrong with me. do you ever get that? like you meet people for the first time and you feel like your personality, humor, style, etc is on display for judgement...and you feel what they are thinking by they way they talk to you. i get it all the time...maybe it is just me. but tonight i didn't feel that way. the great conversations that i had, i ended up feeling like they weren't looking at me to dissect me...but looking at me to just hear what i had to say...and i them. it was refreshing. i think preconceived notions about someone jade most conversations...and starts things off on the wrong foot. it actually happens to me all the time...which makes me wonder. haha.

but i was definitely out of my comfort zone tonight...but it ended up working out. i almost bailed and stayed in my warm bed but i had committed to something and i couldn't back out. (i hate when people do that to me...).

all this to say, i'm just rambling...and really have nothing of substance to say....other than, i had a really bad day today, but some really great people tonight turned that around for me.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Cracker Barrel!




Man, I love this place! And I love that I just spent my Saturday night with some amazing folks at one of my favorite places. :)

Yes, I'm lame. I know this.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Forget what you came for?

I got together with some friends tonight and made tacos and cookies. :) I love cooking with friends....

After dinner, we decided to watch "Chocolat." I hadn't seen it since it was in the theaters back in 2000. All I remember from watching it then was that I left the theater inspired. So, I really looked forward to that feeling again tonight.

But I ended up feeling something slightly different when I left my friend's house...

For those who haven't seen the movie (I recommend that you run out to your friendly video store or get it on netflix), the movie is about a woman who comes into a repressed (for a lack of a better word) town set in 1950s France. This town is subdued by the notion that in order to worship the Lord, they must deny themselves of almost anything that brings pleasure and/or joy. These things were not found easily in this town. These people were empty. This woman...just through her presence...changed everything.

Halfway through the movie...watching piety at its finest...i felt that this woman represented Christ more through her love of the town's people than the religious authority stifling the people. Her heart was to see the people live life to the fullest...create, dance, sing, love, laugh, cry...Live!

I want to be someone that breathes life into others. That's what Christ did when He roamed the earth...so why wouldn't His followers do the same? Why would we bog ourselves down with do's and don'ts? Why does there have to be formulas? And equations of how life is to be lived? Last time I checked, God made me much different than He made you...with a different purpose...and different role. Why do I have to live like you do? And conversely, why would you have to live like me? Why do we have to follow the rules just for the sake of following the rules? Didn't Christ break rules? He was the biggest rebel of His time and i absolutely LOVE that about Him!

Now, I must change gears for a minute and address all of you rule followers. Don't get me wrong...I'm huge on authority...and respecting that...but...BUT...I'm not talking blasphemy here. I do believe that Christ followers are called to live holy lives...we are called to sacrifice and have self control...in some areas. But not in living...truly living. Not in dreaming. Not in loving others. We are called to live with and without abandon.

So let me ask you this question. Have you forgotten about that thirst? Is your forgetfulness just creating noise for others? Are you a loud gong? Or...

Or, is God using you to bring life to others? If the answer is no, I can tell you with 100% certanity that He wants to do that through you. If you let Him, you'll never be the same.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

i love my job and other such craziness.

reason #954 for loving my job:

I get a membership to the YMCA that is walking distance from our "office" in Vickery. I say office quite loosely...We work out of a condo and I sit on a couch with my lap top with the fire 'ablazin. Life is rough. (I praise Him everyday...He is too good to me)!

Today my boss Jen and I went to the Y after work to do a step class. Two things I realized...I'm out of shape (more on that later) and I'm not as fast as I used to be at picking things up. This has made me rethink my idea of taking a Hip Hop class. That could turn into a disaster...hmmm.


In other news...rather late last night I got home after hanging with some friends after 7|22. Lately my gate remote aka clicker, has been acting crazy-like. This normally isn't too much trouble since the gate is open 90% of the time anyway (gates are a false sense of security anyway...). Well, it decides to not be a friend and work for me. Dang...so, i realize that i would have to call my roomie and wake her up to let me in the gate. So i give her a call. Mid-ring, my remote decides it would be nice and it opens. I hang up the call box calling Autumn..

Cut to about an hour ago less than 24 hours later...Autumn comes to my bedroom door and asked about the phone call she received late last night from the gate. I tell her the story...this is her response...

"So, let me ask you a question, kelli. why didn't you just call yourself and let yourself in?"

ummmmmmmmm, yeah.

Because that would make sense....that's why i didn't do it.

Sometimes I wonder where my head is...

;)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

99x

I am mourning today. Mourning the loss of 99x. They lied to us.

I thought Q100 didn't take over until Friday. But no! Much to my dismay this morning, I heard the Bert Show on 99.7 FM. They jumped the gun.

This is not cool.

I remember sitting in my sister's bedroom staring at the radio when they went from Power 99 to 99X. Good times...good times.

Where am I gonna listen to good rock music? Where?!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Craziness in the Kitchen



The kitchen is a hot mess right now. It actually has been quite the adventure trying to figure out which dishes to use that aren't covered in dust. The most interesting part to me is finding all of the 70s and 60ish wallpaper that was hidden by the cabinets. There were some happenin' people living here back in the day.

I look forward to the next project Autumn has up her sleeve.



Having the dishwasher back where it belongs (up and running that is) will be the excitement of the month. :)

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Enough?

How I live sometimes communicates that I believe that there is something bigger and better than Jesus.

Some of it comes out of fear. Some of it comes out of insecurity. But why am I insecure in my relationship with Christ? Of all the relationships in my life, that is the one I should have complete confidence in His love and grace towards me. What about fear? Fear tells Him that He isn't enough for me. But He is. He is enough. He's enough for my brokeness...for my heartache...for my joy...for my tears....for my laughter. He is the love of my life! He is it! Why do I live like He isn't?

I think one of the biggest lies of satan is that Christ isn't enough...that there is something more out there (money, spouse, fame, etc) that we need. I don't need any of that. I need Him. I want Him.

My prayer is that I'll live a life that amplifies His name through my satisfaction in His love.

As I heard John Piper say once, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him."

Saturday, January 19, 2008

What to do?

Church is closed tomorrow. What am I gonna do with my time? Oh the possibilities!

I have a feeling I'll be bored. If I stay in the house all day, I'll start to get stir crazy.

Hmm...maybe I'll go see Cloverfield again! Yes! That's a great plan!

cloverfield

you must go see it.

in fact, leave right now. turn off your computer, gather your friends, and run to the nearest theater.

trust me. you won't be disappointed.

ps. be sure to go with people who won't make fun of you for screaming or developing a nervous twitch throughout the entire movie.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Snow!



So I'm not a huge fan of cold weather. But if it is gonna be cold, it might as well snow. Nothing like a good ole snowball fight!

Autumn and I ran around outside for a bit taking pictures and throwing snowballs...let's just say she kicked my butt because I was holding back! ;) (yeah, that's my story)

obsession

Have you heard this David Crowder song? It is an oldie. Something about it grabs me and won't let go.

I highly recommend either buying the entire cd or getting this one off of itunes. When you listen though, make sure you're alone with no distractions. I like to lay on the floor in my bedroom in the dark. (is that strange?)

God will completely reign in that moment. There's this one part towards the end where the music swells and you'll want to burst! I wish I could feel like that all the time....so full of His love.

What can I do with my obsession
With the things I cannot see
Is there madness in my being
Is it the wind that moves the trees?
Sometimes You're further than the moon
Sometimes You're closer than my skin
And You surround me like a winter fog
You've come and burned me with a kiss

Chorus:
And my heart burns for You
And my heart burns...for You

Sunday, January 13, 2008

saipan



one of my dearest friends, hyun jae, grew up on this amazing island. it is a US commonwealth...frankly, i had never heard of it until i met her back in 2002...let alone know it was a commonwealth. shows what amazing education this great state has given me. ;) but, imagine growing up in paradise...an island of only 12 by 5 miles. how amazing!

since she moved back there and then back to korea for law school, we haven't been able to talk as much. she sent me a text tonight that made me feel like she was down the road...like we were deciding where to meet tonight. it felt like home.

sometimes God takes people we love out of our lives...for what reason, i'm not quite sure. but i do know that He provides us with what we need to live without them. when she left and we were hugging her goodbye from the airport, i thought that i would never see her again. i pray that's not what happens, but if it is, i trust that God has a purpose in that.

i praise Him for my friends...for those in far away places...to the one sitting on the couch beside me right now.

He is so good to me!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

lame.

i went to bed last night at about 9pm...i didn't wake up until 8:30am. haha! oops.

that pretty much means that i hit the snooze button for an hour. I don't remember ever hearing it go off.

i need to get a louder alarm clock.



in more exciting news, i booked my ticket to LA for the first weekend in February. sad that i'll only be there for 3 days, but glad i can be there for one of my greatest friend's bridal shower. one of the perks of it being that weekend is i don't have to deal with crazy football fanatics for superbowl like i would here. don't get me wrong...i enjoy a good game here and there. but the fanatics ruin it for me. something about a man dressed in full paint screaming at the top of his lungs, worshiping a game, leaves a slight bad taste in my mouth. hey, i'm all about it if he (or she) worships the Lord with the same amount of body paint...(minus the profanity of course). ;)

So, i guess my day didn't turn out too lame today. i got a lot of sleep last night, booked a plane ticket to see my amazing friend dawn, and now i'm writing you good people...(the one or two of you who actually read...one being a family member).

i'm going to bed...i plan on getting another ridiculous amount of sleep tonight.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

arrrrggggg!!!

ok.

i feel much better.

just had to get that off my chest.

Monday, January 7, 2008

What do

people crave?

Ok, so that question could imply many things. Food, attention, love, respect, purpose...

But what driving force causes them to act the ways that they do, often times in harmful ways?

Are you feeling lonely and craving intimacy? You might retreat from others. Or maybe you'll surround yourself in faux community.

What about desiring to matter? You might seek approval from others in ways that can never fill that hole.

I really could go on...

I started thinking about this today after our normal Monday staff meeting. Shauna Simmonds from Make You Think (www.makeyouthink.tv) is visiting us from Canada. She showed us a video she did commissioned by The Evangelical Fellowship of Canada. In the video, she interviews young college students and young adults (both non-Christian and Christian) about their views of the Church. It really got me thinking. it isn't like anything in the video is new to me, but something about it struck me...i felt broken-hearted yet hopeful at the same time.

She noticed a common thread that popped up often in the interviews. The things they crave the most are community, authenticity, mentorship, passionate leaders, and interactivity. I don't know why, but the need for passionate leaders really caught my eye. It is hard for me to want to follow someone in leadership if they are not passionate about what do. Now, this can land me into trouble however this is Christ we are talking about. I don't want a leader in the Church who isn't passionate about his or her Savior. The One who bled and died just for them. The Redeemer. Holy and Worthy. HELLO!

We are losing people here. Even though this particular piece is about young adults and college students, I think it translates to most if not all age groups. Don't you want community, authenticity, mentorship, passionate leaders and interactivity? I know I do.

And even if you are a part of a wonderful, relevant church don't stop thinking outside of the box! Don't stop asking questions...asking what you're doing wrong...asking what you're doing right. Stop assuming that your relevance will always hold true. Because it won't. Keep asking what else you could do. And don't think for one second that just because you are non-traditional that you don't do things "just because." Just because you think it works, doesn't mean it really does.

So, check it out. This is the link below...sorry it's a link...I'm really tired and didn't feel like trying to figure out how to put the video in my actual blog. :)

http://www.evangelicalfellowship.ca/NetCommunity/Page.aspx?pid=5086&srcid=904

love you.

why not?

how many times during the day do you think of something you could do to benefit someone else? even to the point of inconveniencing your own day/bank account/time/etc. this is something small like grabbing a co-worker a starbucks on your ride in....something big like letting someone in need stay with you rent free...

anything really.

what if we acted on all of those thoughts?

today i was thinking about how many times i come up with little things that i could do for people and how rarely i actually do them. sometimes i just forget. other times, i think it would cost too much. but, let's be honest...you see someone walking along the side of the road and you see storm clouds a'brewin. do you offer them a ride...? these days? or is that just an excuse...do we just not want to be bothered?

i challenge you to entertain 75% of those thoughts...those selfless thoughts...Ok, 75% too much right now? start off smaller...do 50%. we don't have to be legalistic about it.

you'll be amazed with what happens.

you'll be amazed with the smile of pure joy that will envelope your face.

(wait...would that make it selfish then...?) ;)

Saturday, January 5, 2008

i love this picture.



i was looking through some pictures my sister sent me the other day. this is my brother, sister and me bored at a hotel outside of knoxville a month ago. you'd be surprised with the amounts of fun that could be had in a hotel fitness room.

email.

This is an email i got from a friend i made in Kenya. This is some of what harrison wrote me....

"Thank you very much for your Love and prayers.We are safe in our our place although affected like through our relatives,friends and pastor who are already in the places most affected.Ours is just to pray for them and even look for ways and means to safe them for the rioters have blocked the roads.The are against our tribe but God is for it.Continue praying for us and your communication is an encouragement to us."




(it probably wasn't the brightest idea to hold the puppy in a country with rabies infested dogs...but i couldn't help myself. he was too sweet!)

ohhhh yeah!!

i got to hang with my friend Rachael tonight. after running around town all night, we went back to her apartment. i started flipping channels while she was looking something up online. and guess what i found! come on...guess!

American Gladiators!



Oh, and please believe this was the classic American Gladiators too.

I was too excited.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

i lift up

my eyes to the mountains-where does my help come from?
my help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip - He who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you - the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm - He will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch your coming and your going both now and
forevermore.

psalm 121

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

praying for kenya.





i've been keeping my eye on what's going on over in kenya. just looking at all of the pictures breaks my heart. it is one thing to hear about it. it is another to see the faces of those right in the middle of it.

i read an article where 30 people were killed in a church outside of nairobi. when we were over in kenya this past july, we visited many churches....
i'm almost at a loss for words...these people aren't just numbers....they are faces i can close my eyes and see...giggles of children...shouts of worship i've heard....lives God values.

tomorrow i'll be meeting up with the team i went with this summer to pray. please pray with us.

i normally don't make

new year's resolutions. i'm not sure why really. maybe because 90% of them people don't stick with by the end of January. this is quite cynical thinking for me actually...i'm normally positive when someone sets a goal and plans to see it through. but there's something about new year's resolutions that always have me keep my distance.

i'm a huge believer that people can change almost anything in their life if they seek God's guidance in it...of course it has to be in His will...but for things like changing bad habits, altering a social behavior or adjusting a lifestyle, it can be done with Him.

so knowing this, why don't i make resolutions? who cares if it is cliché. who cares that the majority of people have the same ones...so this year i made my first new year's resolution in years.

but i'm doing this with the thought that everyday we should have these goals...everyday we should be looking in our lives and realize that there's always room to grow, change, expand, and explore.

so why do we wait for a new year to do this? what's wrong with March 15th, or June 19th, or October 26th...or any other day for that matter?

i got to hang out with



one of the sweetest 10 year olds out there!

how can you beat that?