those faces.

my heart was so happy saturday. i felt God speaking a lot to me about the future...maybe...i don't really know though...there's so much i want to do, it is hard to pick which dream to chase. He gives me too many ideas! i don't know what to do with myself!

ashley, meredith and i went to a church in marietta off of windy hill road. we were there to serve the church in whatever they needed for the day. some people did landscaping, some painted, some took trash to the dump...you get the picture. the gals and i ended up working in their new youth group room. i say group very lightly. it consists of 5 girls right now. three of them were there with us saturday. i fell in love with those girls! we spent our time cleaning out the room, painting it, jamming out, laughing...how could i not fall in love with them?

i still can't seem to get all of the paint off my arms...but i love it because it reminds me of those faces. those kids that don't have a church like mine with all the heavy production, multitudes of adult leaders, great musicians..etc. but the look on their faces as the paint was drying and the empty canvas of a room waited for inspiration, was priceless. i found myself slightly jealous. jealous of their small church... jealous of their shoe string budget because it forces them to think outside the box to make things work....of what God has in store for them...of the adventure...of the possibilities.

i was so happy serving them that day. my heart was overflowing the entire time.

and this got me thinking...



currently listening to: Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova, Falling Slowly

it is amazing

how quiet things are at night. even roswell road, a normally crowded road full of honking horns and blaring music from car stereos finds time to rest. so why can't i?

five minutes ago, all i could think of was my warm, cozy bed. now my mind is racing, and my thoughts are on other things besides counting sheep (side note...who in the world ever came up with that being a good way to fall asleep and additionally, who in the world went along with said person to make counting sheep the phenomena that it still is today...hmmm).

i almost want to go outside and sit on our 12 x 12 square patch of grass tucked into the city and stare at the two stars you can see from here. i'll listen to the silent street and be glad others are enjoying their rest.


currently listening to: Hosanna, Hillsong United

Loud and clear.

i was finishing up my reading for small group tomorrow night and God really spoke to me. God never ceases to amaze me though...i was really distracted during the study... i just couldn't focus. but...He grabbed me despite myself. Boy am I listening!

Here's a tip of the iceberg for ya...

"Our ability to accomplish the things of God has nothing to do with our own human ability. We simply cannot sustain a life of service and sacrifice in our own power. If we try, we will eventually become jaded, angry, and numb. (God please, I don't want to become numb..).

Our lives are to be poured out indiscriminately to others around us, expecting absolutely nothing in return. Sounds pretty selfless...and it is. If we let God work through us to live these radically selfless lives, then we become like a stream of living water, channeling God's Love to those in need.

Most of the time though, we feel more like dried up wells than streams of living water. Interestingly enough, we are usually busy doing good things during the dry times (dang, conviction). Despite the amount of activities we are participating in we feel completely spent and don't experience the "filling up" that God promises. Perhaps we are dry because we are doing a lot of good things but not doing the ONE "God-thing" we've been called by God to do. Consider this: God only empowers us to do the things He's call us to do."

Oh man, that hit me hard tonight. I am this person he is talking about. Even though I enjoy all of the things that I do....I am actually running away from the one thing I should be doing/developing...because i'm scared...because i lack confidence...because i'm not trusting God...not trusting that He knows what He's doing.

In the next paragraph he says something interesting...

"Maybe God is trying to get the attention of these believers and ask them, "Did I ask you to sponsor five kids, sign up for three mission trips in six months, help out three nights a week at the soup kitchen, and lead your Bible study group?" No! I invited you to do one thing -- prayerfully prepare for one mission trip. That's it. I have other people in mind for the other activities and frankly, you're in the way of THEIR opportunity to serve." We can get so caught up in doing good things that we fail to actually spend the bulk of who we are on the God things--the stuff He actually invited us to do in His power."

.....whoahhhh God. I can only handle so much. It isn't like this is a completely new concept to me...I've heard this many times before. But something is different this time.

I hear you loud and clear.



Currently listening to: How He Loves Us, Kim Walker version of course.

trying to tell me something?

this weekend, my dad got me some car wax (is that what it's called?) to wax my car.

haha! was that a hint?

i drove up to tennessee yesterday to meet up with him, my step-mom, and brother. they drove down from Minnesota (eekkk) to take care of some family issues.

as i was leaving, he hands me this bottle of wax and tells me how to use it. he then gives me this grin and says that he was going to wax my car while i was there, but we ran out of time. i love him! but the question again popped into my head...is my car really that bad? i guess so.

he then laughed at me saying that he'll just do it the next time he sees me. again, was he implying something there?

dang it, he knows me well.

Barbie and Bruce.

I went to the YMCA today for the first time in a few weeks...hehe...oops. So much for a routine.

Things were going great. I was watching Die Hard as I worked out. Life just couldn't get better. Until...

Barbie and her Sidekick decided to workout right beside me. They were talking rather loudly so I just turned up my earphones to get back to Bruce. Right when Bruce was yippekiyiyeeehhin', I couldn't help but hear a part of their conversation. Imagine this dialog in Valley girl of course.

Sidekick: So, are you dating Josh?
Barbie: Oh my gawhh. No, we are just talking really.
SideKick: Oh...
Barbie: Yeah, he's like really great. He's funny and good looking. We talk like everyday.
Sidekick: Oh wow! That's like amazing!
Barbie: I know! I mean, i just don't like it when he flirts with all my friends. But he's great.

....ummm....riiiight. Something tells me this guy is a winner.

It took everything in me not to look over and tell her she's worth so much more...and not because she's a beautiful girl...but because her worth isn't found in her body or her face or what she gives away sexually of herself. She has worth because of what Christ did for her. It broke my heart to think that she might not know that. She might not know that she doesn't have to kill herself trying to be something she wasn't meant to be...she might not know that God has so much more for her.

I left with a heavy heart....but grateful for the reminder that I don't have to settle for anything less than Him.


Currently listening to: Jimmy Eat World, 23

windows.

drove home today with my windows down, hair up, sunglasses on, music blaring....

perfect.

(don't make fun of me for having the heat set to the floor...my feet get cold easily and i was wearing flip flops)!

:)


currently listening to: Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere.

found.

I will live
All my days
To worship you


This is the last part of a Hillsong United song called "Found." I was captivated the first time I heard it. It starts off soft and unassuming. Many might pass it by thinking it is predictable.

If you don't have the cd this song is on, do yourself a favor and get it. If not, check out this song on itunes. Turn it up really loud and focus on the words. It will blow you away.

Amazing love no other shall I need
Your name brings life more than the air I breathe

My life was changed when your life gave for me
My purpose found in all that you are for me

And I found myself in You
And I found myself in You

Take me to the place where I can see you face to face
All I want to do
All I want to do is worship You

Is worship You
You are worthy

I will live
All my days
To worship you

that type of day

do you ever have those days where you can't seem to do anything right?

that's today for me.

i feel like i'm overlooking the obvious. doing things the long way. forgetting things i know.

arg.

i hate days like today.

should i?

should i move to an island...where the best word to describe it is paradise....to teach for two years?

when else in my life can i do something crazy like that?

why not?

what about my life here? my job i really enjoy. my family. my friends. my church.

but that question keeps popping into my head...

why not?

humbled.

an amazing friend sent me an email from another friend....these words weren't directed specifically at me, but man did God hit me hard with it....


"when you sing... sing from the deepest part of you
and really PROCLAIM the heartbeat of every word that is penned and every
note that is played. and keep on singing over the people. many need a
voice to sing for them b/c they don't have one. and you have been entrusted
with something precious and something that is not to be thought of lightly.
give great concern over what songs you will be bringing and as you sing,
sing boldly, sing beautifully, and sing for His great glory."

"He is worthy. He is SO worthy. and you have a platform that can
impact MANY and from where you can literally CHANGE THE VERY ATMOSPHERE in the
room and bring about a sound that is not meant for man's ear but for the
very pleasure of the King. but while He will never be impressed with how
well we DO anything or sing that note, He will pour out onto His people His
presence and message as the overflow of His heart.

don't hold back, my friend.

and get in there with God and just follow His leading.
never lose heart.
and WHATEVER YOU DO, DO IT ALL FOR THE GLORY OF GOD."

yikes!

dawn asked me to sing Hosanna at her wedding in a month.

.......
.......
.......

ummm...

have i mentioned that i have a major case of stage fright?

yeah.

i'm highly upset.

everyone knows that avocados are high in fat. this is common knowledge. it is the good fat but fat nonetheless. a couple of years ago, i became obsessed with them! i eat them all the time...i'll put them in my salad. i'll make guacamole. i'll even just cut one right down the middle and eat it with a spoon. strange? maybe...but i don't care.

so...this has all been compromised for me....

at work yesterday, i decided to have a late afternoon snack of a perfectly ripe, beautiful, marvelous avocado. Alex, who works with me, scrunches up his face and says something along the lines of "eww, those are so high in fat!" this didn't bother me. i would not be deterred...on i ate.

it wasn't until a few minutes later that i decided to google exactly how much fat one of my scrumptious little avocados would contain.

31 grams of fat in an average, medium sized avocado!

WHAT!!!!????!!!!!?????

i am heartbroken. that just seems a little excessive don't you think? I mean....31 grams? i'm not a health nut but that's crazy. I'd rather have a big, fat Big Mac...not that i eat those...but still, that's not the point.

anyway, i'm pretty sure this will pass...besides, i ate one with my lunch today...hehe.

fires, hanging out in trees...very tall trees, and new friends

i'm slightly too tired to go into too much detail, but Camp Highland with the 7|22 team was such an amazing time. we had some great God time, i met some amazing new people, and i got to test myself on the high ropes...
let's just say that my arms are still killing me from holding on for dear life!



we had two camp fires going and made a zillion smores. the fact that it was so crazy cold made the fires that much more inviting...but camp fires have got to be one of the best things in the world! a few of us stood around talking by the fire until about 1:30am. i could have gone longer but they couldn't hang anymore. buzz kills. ;)




here's a pic of the camp dog mattie...i think that was her name. she was too sweet...i just couldn't pass up posting this picture. you think they'd notice if i went back up there and brought her home with me? ;)

all in all...we had such an amazing time...i still haven't caught up on my sleep from it so i am out!