say.

i'm not a huge fan of john mayer at all...for various reasons...but i really like his latest song "say."

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open


i really like those lyrics.


that's really all i had to say about this subject. i'm sleepy.



currently listening to: REM

you know a conference is near...

when you're pulling 15/16/17 hour days.

i love it!

the past.

for some reason, i found myself searching for some old college friends on facebook tonight. i don't know why tonight...why not a week ago, or months ago, or even a year ago?

but tonight i found myself looking at their pages...a "where are they now" kind of moment. and i'll be honest...my heart is kind of heavy. seeing their pictures remind me of me at my worst. i became a pursuer of Christ my freshman year of college. during that year, satan really attacked me and i ended up pretty much living a double life for that first year of school. i was depressed, broken and grasping at anything and everything that would validate me...anything that would "love" me....anything that would take me away from me.

i have asked for forgiveness and i feel freedom from my past...yet the memories haven't gone away. sometimes they are very much real. i don't think about it often and don't get me wrong...that year was also amazing. that was the year GOD radically pursued me. that was the year i fell in LOVE with HIM. you could call it the best and the worst year of my life. but it is a year that will forever be burned into my memory...and those people (dawnie included) will always have a place in my heart. i don't talk to any of them anymore except for dawn. the rest...we just lost touch. the guys are off doing their own thing and the other gal from our fab six is no longer speaking to me. maybe this is God's way of having me make things right with her...i don't know.

but i do know that we cannot forget our past. it is what has made us who we are today. i don't have regrets anymore...i only use those experiences as a reminder that whatever my hands can grasp onto is NOTHING in comparison of what HE offers me freely.


thanks God for reminders of how much you've restored my heart.



currently listening to: None but Jesus, Hillsong United.

working hard.

we are all work and absolutely no play here at the reThink Group. getting ready for the orange conference is all that we're thinking about.

yep.

what happens when you forget your ID...

friday night, the gals and i decided to check out sam thacker at Smith's Olde Bar. this is one of my favorite things...going to local shows at small bars. the atmosphere isn't really my cup of tea, but i love hearing artists before they get big. the music is slightly purer and the music much more real to me. there's something about an artist, their guitar/voice/piano, and unbridled passion that excites me.

of course, a night out with me would not be complete without me forgetting something, losing something, etc...

i forgot my license. Smith's Olde Bar is obviously 21 and over...

so this is what happens when you convince the manager to let you in without your license. note to self: don't suggest to him that he put x's on your hand...he'll take you up on it...and get great pleasure from doing so.

why?

why do people think that just because you're single, you want to be set up?

and

why do people think that just because you're single, you're lonely?


i do not have these answers.



currently listening to: Lynyrd Skynyrd, Free Bird (i know, i know...i have no excuse. i love this song).

katie's blog

one of the bridesmaids for dawn's wedding wrote a really great blog about one of the many themes of the weekend. i really love how she doesn't just leave it at a man's pursuit of a woman but of God's pursuit of us.



Hot Pursuit

I was a bridesmaid for the first time on the West Coast this past weekend. It was in the San Diego area, and I got to take a three day weekend in order to be there for all the festivities.
It was warm, beautiful, spiritual, joyful, laughable, graceful and probably the most fun that I can remember having in a 72 hour period.

Although weddings can be drastically different, I find that they always elicit a response. Whether you’re a guy or a girl, young or old, married or very single, it’s as if each wedding asks a question that you find yourself pondering in the days to follow. That question is innate, yet can be unique to each of us.

My question this time was: Will I let myself be pursued?

Throughout the ceremony, the toasts, the dances, and the musical improv (yes, there was improv!), I lost track of how many times the word pursue was used. At the rehearsal dinner, glasses were raised to Jeff’s constant pursuit of his bride, Dawn, even across the country. At the ceremony, Jeff stood at the microphone and promised to always pursue Dawn everyday for the rest of their lives. Journey sang about Jeff pursuing Dawn from the beginning of their “friendship”. There were countless other uses of the word pursue, and it really got me thinking every time.

Like every other girl, I want to be pursued. I want to be sought hard after, found, and loved and appreciated for who I am. As discussed in my previous post, and also at Tuesday night small group, I, like most girls, have a hard time sitting back and letting this happen.

I am a natural pursuer of people. I love trying to figure out what makes them tick, what’s special about them, what others don’t see beneath the surface that could change humanity for the better. It is my joy to ask someone questions or have a conversation with them until I see what makes their eyes light up. I will always be this way, it’s how I was made and I love it!

But sometimes I want to be the one who is pursued. I want someone to find out my quirks and stay for the next round. I want someone to be so intrigued by me that they would follow me anywhere to find out more.

I recently realized that even as a very single girl, I do have a terribly romantic life. I have a God who pursues me everyday with sunsets and light breezes. I have friends who pursue me with brunches on the porch, offering protection on a dark walk home, sending flowers on a whim, and nights on the couch with hot chocolate and an old favorite movie. I have music and poetry and dancing. Romance follows me around the streets of L.A. like smog follows a clear day.

I do still look forward to being pursued by a man. So I have to say thanks to my friend Jeff for reminding me (and all his wedding guests) that this does still happen. Thanks to my friend Dan for always telling me stories of his persistent pursuit of his lovely girlfriend. Thanks to Dawn and Lynn for showing me what it looks like to be pursued by these courageous men.

This week I would really like to have your thoughts on the pursuit. Do you feel like you have to do all the chasing? Are you tired of pursuing relationships and not being pursued back? When was the last time you felt pursued? Are you ready to be pursued?

I’ve really appreciated your honesty and openness in joining me on this adventure.

Hopeful Always,
Katie



currently listening to: Desperate People, Hillsong United

LA.

where do i begin?

this past week blew me away. i had my highs and my lows...but the best thing, God changed me. i feel different. and i love that feeling. i'll have to post more on this later...but God is stirring something in my heart. something huge.

here's one of my favorite pics of the week. this was dawn and me driving down to san diego for the rehearsal. i love that girl!

off and away.

this is where i'll be tomorrow night.

then it is off to one of my favorite places...san diego! last time i was there, i spent the night in a beautiful sailboat...this time will be slightly different. this time, i'll be at a resort for dawn's wedding. if you ask me, the sailboat would be just fine but i can't complain about a resort. :)

i'll try to post some pictures, but i'll be really busy getting last minute things done for dawn. besides when i'm away from home, i try to stay away from my computer and my phone (what am i saying, i'm never by my phone even at home)...but it will be extremely freeing being away from the computer and my constant email checking.

if you think about it, please pray for me. i posted earlier that dawn asked me to sing at the wedding. i have really bad stage fright and i hate having attention on me...not to be cheesy...but this is for HIM and not me...or even her...please pray that my pride will get out of the way and that He will have His way in my heart.


currently listening to: Man on the Moon, REM (one of my all-time favorite bands)

braves game.

i love baseball.

tammy got four tickets to the braves game last night...they were rockin' seats! sadly i've never been that close, and i've been to plenty of games in my day.

i would post pictures but i'm a dork and forgot my camera. but...escobar hit a home run and it was about two feet away from us...so if you happened to have tivo'ed it, you can see us scrambling for our lives. haha..too much fun.

i used to be a huge fan back in the day...you remember those days?...ron gant, sid bream, terry pendleton, steve avery, david justice, otis nixon...i could go on and on. now, i look at the roster and only know like three of them. man i've been out of it...

i think i'll be going to as many games as possible this season. i have a lot of catching up to do.


currently listening to: Jesus Don't Want Me For a Sunbeam, Nirvana

21

am i the only one who has not seen the movie 21 yet?

guess what.

He loves me!